What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?

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Growing up, being the second child, I had to do things differently to get that extra bit of attention and love from my older sibling. I deliberately chose to follow and do things that were unconventional and not normal for a girl to do during those times.  In my attempt to breaking the glass ceiling and being the best just to be noticed and liked was exhausting. So much so, unknowingly I do it even today.

Unfortunately, this constant urge to appease and be the best at everything is something my little munchkin has picked up too. She does have my DNA :-). 

It so happened yesterday, there was a kids competition in our society and kids participated in various categories and my daughter participated too. She nominated herself in the dance category and chose to perform on a medley of Michael Jackson songs, as her tribute to her favourite legend. She poured her heart and soul into the performance and was brimming with excitement. The competition was very stiff and she did not win. Honestly, it was an absolutely fair decision, other kids performed much better than her, she did not stand a chance.

My  kiddo was heartbroken to say the least and ran to me and hugged me tight and cried inconsolably. And as all mothers do, I too tried to comfort her all evening and night. I could sense the ten year old’s desire and agony to be the best, to make her parents and family proud of her, be more popular and beat her peers.

I was restless through the night, not because she did not win but wondering does my child have to be the best in everything – studies, sports, arts and dance. Can she not be good? Would it be fair of me to ask her to be part of an endless race throughout her life where there are no guarantees of wins? Can I not accept her the way she is? Yes I definitely can but then this mind pushes these unnecessary thoughts, this is not the right parenting, you will make her lazy, she will not learn how to work hard.    

At the moment, I choose to push them aside and make myself a cuppa and teach my child to be happy and be the best at being happy no matter what the circumstances. Wow this is deep even for me.