Firsts are indeed special, holding a unique blend of excitement and apprehension that can make the preceding night a whirlwind of emotions. But among those firsts, returning to work after a maternity break stands out as a singular experience, a roller-coaster of conflicting priorities and anxieties. I vividly recall experiencing panic attacks a week before the day I had to resume work.
The seed of doubt burrowed deep in my heart. Would my spot in the team still be warm, or had it gone cold with my absence? My team, once familiar as my own reflection, had new faces, voices I didn’t yet recognize. They spoke a language of jargon and progress that I hadn’t learned in the cozy confines of motherhood. My days had been a routine of lullabies and milky smiles, capturing the adorable actions of my baby girl. The world outside had changed, leaving me with the unnerving feeling of being left behind.
Throughout the night, I tossed and turned in my bed. Every now and then, I woke up and walked to Puchki’s cradle to check on her, sitting beside her and watching her sleep. A sense of guilt engulfed me as I questioned my decision to resume work and leave my baby at the day care, under the care of strangers.
My fingers trembled as I got dressed. I Panicked and stuffed every conceivable baby item into the diaper bag – spare outfits, three different comfort toys, her comfort blanket. My nerves just did not allow me to drive, so I opted to take an Uber to work. As I sat with Puchki in the backseat, I held on to her tight and choked with emotion, apologizing to her smiling face for not being be around during the day to feed or rock her to sleep and make her smile with our peek-a-boo games.
I handed over Puchki into the safe hands of the lady in charge and sat in a corner, patiently watching her as she got accustomed to her surroundings. Once her attention shifted from me to the amazing world of colors and wonder toys, I quietly slipped out after rattling off a list of instructions. Determined to meet my professional commitments, I walked towards my workstation, still trembling and shaking with each step. I was greeted by supervisor, peers and colleagues across departments with love and extreme warmth, something I had not imagined.
What made the day most special was when our Facility Head walked up to me to welcome me back to work and said the most encouraging words. She asked me to take it easy, spend as much time with Puchki at the daycare (on our office premises), get her settled first, and then worry about work. Her words had a soothing balm-like effect on my anxious nerves. Later that evening, I brought Puchki to my workstation, showed her around, and we concluded the day by clicking endless pictures with all my colleagues at work.
This first day was indeed a special one, the one I’ll never forget, when everyone @work embraced me and my baby back. The kindness and warmth they extended along with their unwavering support, made my transition from baby to boardroom indeed a smooth one. A big thank you to all the Wonder Women that made this possible, God Bless!
Livi's Life Lessons 